Happy Friday.

I have finally put some recent pictures onto our computer! Here's a little glimpse into our lives over the past month or so...

I love his expressions.

There is nothing more attractive to me.
He is a ticklish little guy...

...with squishy cheeks!

That is one cute kid, and sexy man (if I do say so myself).

*one of my favorites*

I am so blessed.

Takin' a bath in the sink!

Eating beets - yum.

Nate's early father's day gift.

I just love him.

Dumpy Mc Dumperson.

*Notice the progression of the next pictures*

I was meant to have boys...

I realized this last night as I was sitting on the floor of Zi's room, smashing his stuffed lion and zebra together - sound effects in full swing. "ARGGGGGG" "PHHHHHHT" "PSHT PSHT PSHT (punching noises)."

I love my boy.

Crazy Love

What I'm reading right now: Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

I was challenged to read this book, when the person recommending it said that I might not like it because it's pretty intense. That's all I needed to hear. I went and got a copy and read the first chapter last night. It's good. Really good. I have a feeling this won't be an easy read. It will take a lot of stopping to examine myself, my motives and my view of God. I'm excited to be challenged.

"We don't get to decide who God is (page 31)." (In Exodus 3:14 God tells Moses, 'I am who I am.') This hit me hard. I have never been a supporter of the thought that God wears different hats and is different things to different people. God "already has a name, an identity (page 31)." I can tell you though, that I am guilty of making God who I want Him to be at any given time. I was convicted of how my view of God is so incredibly limited. Needless to say, I am questioning my view of who God is and praying for a biblical, true and more clear view of His character.

"Can you worship a God who isn't obligated to explain His actions to you? Could it be your arrogance that makes you think that God owes you an explanation?" Ouch. Colossians 1:16 says that all of creation was created by God and for God. How often do we live (and pray and act...) as though He was created for us?

I have a feeling that reading this book will be the beginning of a rewarding and painful journey.

Am I crazy?

Some nights are easier than others to bounce out of bed at 2 a.m. to get Zi when he's crying. He has gotten much better at sleeping and actually slept for a couple 7 hour stretches over the past week or so. That extra rest makes a huge difference - sleepy moms just aren't as fun.

Last night he started making noises that I knew would soon escalate. I hopped out of bed, threw on my robe, made a quick bottle and went in to snuggle. I love it. I love sleepy baby face and the little noises that he makes. He finished off his bottle, then shot his eyes open and arched his back. That's not how it's supposed to happen. He is supposed to blissfully drift back to sleep as the bottle empties. Not last night. Right as I started to get frustrated and think about how my alarm clock was set for 5:10 a.m. he spit out his paci, smiled huge and started talking to me. He reached up his little fat fingers and touched my face, then stretched both of his arms as high as he could reach and waved a few times. My heart melted. I realized that I don't have many more middle of the night snuggle opportunities with him. I'll catch up on all the missed sleep when the kids go to college.

Seasons of life...

Growing up in Indiana, I have learned to appreciate the seasons. Each season is quite drastic from the previous and it seems like the best ones are never long enough. I think that the transition into new seasons is my favorite part of living in a place where the weather is always changing. I love the first snowfall in winter, the first signs of new life in spring, the sun rising earlier in summer and the start of hoodie weather in the fall.

I also love the analogy that life happens in seasons. We have gone through many seasonal changes recently as a family, and I believe we are on the verge of another season of life. While I love the anticipation and adventure of the change, I have been feeling like this in between stage is more similar to the end of winter (mud colored, melting snow/eternal month of February). I am ready. Ready for a new season, renewed purpose and direction in following the Lord and chance to further His Kingdom. I just have to keep reminding myself that although we may not know where we will be in the next 3 months, God does. He is soverign and faithful.

I was gently reminded recently to enjoy the season that I am in. This concept really hit home for me (Thanks, Renee). It is so easy to idolize the future and to worry about what is next. How am I enjoying the season of life that I am in today? Am I making the most of every single day with Zi (who is growing up quicker than I like to admit)? I could cry thinking that he will be thirteen soon and won't want to snuggle with me anymore. Am I enjoying the blessing of our house and privacy, not knowing if we will be there much longer? Am I really thankful that I have a wonderful husband who is an amazing dad, willing to stay home and spend time with the baby? It's easy for me to think of all the things that I would love to change in this season, but not so easy to focus on how to make the most of what I have been given to work with right now, in the moment. Ultimately, I should be asking myself, "Am I glorifying God in this season?" It's not about me.

I am thankful for the season of life that I am in, and oh-so-ready for the next, but it's not about me. God, bring glory to your name regardless of the season.

Morning thoughts

"It was Paul's delight to spend his life for God's interests in other people, and he did not care what it cost. But before we will serve, we stop to ponder our personal and financial concerns - 'What if God wants me to go over there? And what about my salary? What is the climate like there? Who will take care of me? A person must consider these things.' All of that is an indication that we have reservations about serving God." -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (February 25)

I read that this morning and had to stop and think. When I'm given an opportunity, how often do I stop and consider all of the "What if's..." before giving of myself - and even when I do finally give myself to whatever cause it might be, how often am I reserved in my giving? I do not want to have reservations about serving God. It's a constant inward struggle to make excuses for the questions that come up. I want to be about God's interests in the people around me, regardless of the cost.