Am I crazy?

Some nights are easier than others to bounce out of bed at 2 a.m. to get Zi when he's crying. He has gotten much better at sleeping and actually slept for a couple 7 hour stretches over the past week or so. That extra rest makes a huge difference - sleepy moms just aren't as fun.

Last night he started making noises that I knew would soon escalate. I hopped out of bed, threw on my robe, made a quick bottle and went in to snuggle. I love it. I love sleepy baby face and the little noises that he makes. He finished off his bottle, then shot his eyes open and arched his back. That's not how it's supposed to happen. He is supposed to blissfully drift back to sleep as the bottle empties. Not last night. Right as I started to get frustrated and think about how my alarm clock was set for 5:10 a.m. he spit out his paci, smiled huge and started talking to me. He reached up his little fat fingers and touched my face, then stretched both of his arms as high as he could reach and waved a few times. My heart melted. I realized that I don't have many more middle of the night snuggle opportunities with him. I'll catch up on all the missed sleep when the kids go to college.

Seasons of life...

Growing up in Indiana, I have learned to appreciate the seasons. Each season is quite drastic from the previous and it seems like the best ones are never long enough. I think that the transition into new seasons is my favorite part of living in a place where the weather is always changing. I love the first snowfall in winter, the first signs of new life in spring, the sun rising earlier in summer and the start of hoodie weather in the fall.

I also love the analogy that life happens in seasons. We have gone through many seasonal changes recently as a family, and I believe we are on the verge of another season of life. While I love the anticipation and adventure of the change, I have been feeling like this in between stage is more similar to the end of winter (mud colored, melting snow/eternal month of February). I am ready. Ready for a new season, renewed purpose and direction in following the Lord and chance to further His Kingdom. I just have to keep reminding myself that although we may not know where we will be in the next 3 months, God does. He is soverign and faithful.

I was gently reminded recently to enjoy the season that I am in. This concept really hit home for me (Thanks, Renee). It is so easy to idolize the future and to worry about what is next. How am I enjoying the season of life that I am in today? Am I making the most of every single day with Zi (who is growing up quicker than I like to admit)? I could cry thinking that he will be thirteen soon and won't want to snuggle with me anymore. Am I enjoying the blessing of our house and privacy, not knowing if we will be there much longer? Am I really thankful that I have a wonderful husband who is an amazing dad, willing to stay home and spend time with the baby? It's easy for me to think of all the things that I would love to change in this season, but not so easy to focus on how to make the most of what I have been given to work with right now, in the moment. Ultimately, I should be asking myself, "Am I glorifying God in this season?" It's not about me.

I am thankful for the season of life that I am in, and oh-so-ready for the next, but it's not about me. God, bring glory to your name regardless of the season.